Are You Really Ready to Start Dating: 8 Key Questions to Ask Yourself

Re-entering the dating world can be exhilarating, emotionally challenging, and loaded with anticipation of what the future might hold. 

But how do you know if you're truly ready to take that next step on the road to finding The One? 

To help you find out, I have eight introspective questions that will help you gauge your dating readiness.

 Let’s dive in…

1. How happy are you in your life right now?

Begin by asking yourself if you’re seeking a partner to enhance your already wonderful life or to rescue you from an unhappy one? 

When you take into account that everything outside of you mirrors your internal world, it stands to reason that entering the dating world from a positive standpoint will attract someone in a similarly positive state. And, of course, the opposite is also true!

So, beware of seeking a 'saviour’, because their role in your life may become redundant once you find your own strength, making it a shaky foundation to build a long-term relationship from.

2. Have you emotionally detached from past relationships? 

Do lingering feelings for an ex, whether positive or negative, still impact you? 

Unresolved emotions usually indicate you haven’t fully completed the process of healing and letting go of your past relationships. This open loop of emotional attachment can unconsciously surface in conversations, which hints to your date that past ties remain. 

Emotionally cutting ties means you no longer feel any emotions towards your ex. That means, you don’t get upset when you hear their name or compare new dates to the fond memories of the past. You know you’re emotionally detached when you could run into your ex on the street and have no feelings whatsoever.

For everyone’s sake it’s so important to make sure you've truly moved on from your exes before diving into the dating pool again.

3. Are you clear on your core values?

Understanding yourself and your core values is vital when it comes to attracting the right kind of partner. Do you know what's at the heart of your identity and the life and relationship you want to have? 

Recognising the kind of partner who aligns with your values and can contribute to your life vision, and vice versa you with theirs, is key to being successful with dating and finding The One.

If core values are new to you, check out my other blog on my 5+2 Dating Blueprint to learn more.

4. Is there room in your life for a relationship?

If your calendar is jam-packed, do you genuinely have time for dating? 

Let’s be honest, no one likes to feel like they’re being squeezed into someone’s life! And constantly being unavailable can be discouraging for potential partners. 

So, before you step into the dating game, make sure you're genuinely open and in a position to prioritise the time needed to welcome someone new into your life and build a relationship with them.

If you have children, consider how you’ll manage your time to look after your children and date. If you‘re a full-time parent, one tip I give all my single parents is to plan a weekly date night. On this night, you have childcare arranged and are available to go out. If you don’t have a date, it’s a great chance to have some well-deserved “me” time without the children.

5. Do you understand your relationship behaviour patterns?

When you delve deeply, and honestly, into your past relationships, what recurring patterns of behaviour do you see?  

If you have a history of becoming needy or avoidant in relationships, this is something you need to look at before you start dating again.

We all fall into one (or more) of four attachment styles, which are: Island, Wave, Anchor and the Island/Wave combo. Getting familiar with your current attachment style and understanding what you can do to change it, so you feel confident and secure in yourself and your relationship, is a game changer.

I have a brilliant quiz that will help you find out your current attachment style and its characteristics. Click here to take the quiz.

6. How do you feel about yourself and the value you bring to a relationship?

Self-perception is everything! Do you see yourself as valuable and worthy of a fantastic partner? 

If self-doubt is clouding your judgment, it's crucial to address these feelings before diving back into dating. Negative core beliefs can sabotage new relationships before they’ve even begun.

7. Are you clear on your relationship standards? 

What are your relationship standards, and do you find yourself questioning if they’re too high or too low? 

If you're unsure what a healthy relationship looks like or which qualities and behaviours are non-negotiable for you, it's time to go back and get super clear on your core values and make sure your standards align with them.

Many people struggle with the question – am I settling? In my opinion, you settle when you’re not able to live out your core values and build your best life. If you aren’t sure what those core values are, how will you know where to compromise and where not to?  

8. Are you ready to trust and be vulnerable in a relationship?

Intimacy stands for ‘into me you see’ and its intimacy that builds trust, which forms the cornerstone of every strong relationship. 

For someone to see who you really are, you need to have the courage to let your guard down and be truly vulnerable. If you struggle with trust you’ll have a wall up, which will make it incredibly hard for you to let someone all the way in, no matter how perfect they might be for you.

Knowing if you’re genuinely ready to venture into the dating world again really does require a lot of self-reflection, and these eight questions are a great starting point to gauge where you’re at on your journey. 

If you find areas that need attention, it's worth taking the time to address them. After all, a strong relationship with yourself and becoming The One in your own life first, lays the foundation for a healthy relationship with a new partner. 

If you’d like some guidance or support navigating these questions and preparing yourself for meeting The One I’m here to help, so please feel free to book in for a free, no-obligation Breakthrough Coaching Call. Together we can make your journey to love fulfilling and fun!