8 Tips for Getting off the Dating Apps
Meeting THE ONE seems to be more challenging today than it was in the past. With thousands of dating apps to choose from, the choice has become downright overwhelming. Not to mention, the addictive nature of apps can see you wasting hours every day swiping, connecting and chatting with perfect strangers who you may never meet.
For those who have had it with the dating apps, here are 8 tips which will help you meet that special someone off-line.
1.Try Active Dating
Active dating means actively trading your time for the possibility to meet someone who could be an interesting match for you. While swiping is certainly trading your time in, the likelihood that you will really connect with someone special is still pretty low and it can be very time consuming.
Getting involved with a group where you are likely to meet like minded people is a great way to meet a potential partner. Especially groups that meet regularly, as this will give you the chance to get to know someone slowly over time. While you may not have instant attraction to a person, if you have the opportunity to get to know them over time, you may find yourself building a fantastic connection with someone who wasn’t an obvious match at the first meeting.
Meetup.com is a great resource for finding groups in your area which could be of interest.
2. Develop new social circles
If you are having a hard time meeting the type of person you desire, maybe that is someone with the right education level, a career that fits well with yours, or someone who belongs to a certain social status, then it is time to change your social circle. I’m not advocating for ditching all your current friends, but simply expanding your network into other circles.
There is a concept in dating called proximity. It simply means, you are more likely to meet a person if you are in their close proximity.
So, if you are looking to date a doctor, you should hang out with doctors, and go where doctors hang out. If you want to meet a farmer, then hanging out with bankers in the city is unlikely to get you the result you want.
3. Recruit your friends and family
Make sure to tell everyone that you are single and ask them to set you up. According to a 2019 report, meeting through friends, family and coworkers still remains at the top of the list of how people meet their spouse.
Although many people fear being set up on a blind date, it is actually less risky than meeting someone online. You both have the same friend or relative in common which means that you likely share similar values. You both have been vetted by the person who set you up, so there is a high likelihood that you are both good, decent people. Out of respect and loyalty to the person who set you up, you will both likely treat the other person with kindness. Finally, the likelihood that your share things in common is very high.
And for those who say they don’t like blind dates… what do you think online dating is?
4. Practice eye contact and become approachable
It doesn’t matter if you are a woman or a man, most people are afraid of rejection. Going up and talking to a complete stranger is scary, especially when you find the other person attractive.
Learning to communicate the “green light” to the other person through eye contact and body language is very important. Most people don’t go up to strangers because they are afraid of being rejected. Communicating very clearly, that you are open to be approached, and that you won’t reject them, is enough to get most people over their fear.
Eye contact with someone for more than 3 seconds, combined with a smile is usually enough to do the trick. Repeat it several times and it is almost a sure fire way to get someone to find an excuse to come over and talk to you.
5. Try something completely new
You know the old cliché “opposites attract”? Well there is truth to this and the fact is we are often attracted to people because of our differences. It creates excitement and intrigue and we like learning new things.
Try taking a class in something that is not what you would typically do. Rather than signing up for another pilates class, why not take a car repair class or a course in computer programing? Perhaps you want to learn about gin or Japanese artwork. Whatever you chose, you are certain to meet a different type of person, someone you may find very exciting and interesting.
6. Say yes to invitations
If you only ever socialise with the same group of friends, your chances of meeting new people to date may be quite low. However, if you take the opportunity to hang out with someone new from your yoga or kickboxing class, you may just find they they have a friend who would be perfect for you.
Saying yes to invitations may take you out of your comfort zone. You may prefer staying home and watching T.V. in your pyjamas on Friday night but your chances of meeting someone will stay low. If you don’t have much of a social life now, then saying yes to invitations will help you build one.
Especially important for those single parents who always have the excuse of watching the kids. If someone offers to take your kids for the evening, say yes! Even if all you end up doing is going to your local coffee shop by yourself, you will increase your chances of meeting someone.
7. Learn the art of small talk
Small talk is non-threatening and doesn’t put the other person on the defensive. Learning to start a conversation with another person is all about mastering the art of small talk.
To start practicing, make a habit of talking with members of the same sex. One of the easiest ways to start a conversation is to ask a question. Do you know what time it is? What is that you ordered, it looks tasty? Could you hold this for me for just a second while I tie my shoe?
Then, practice on members of the opposite sex who you are not attracted to. You can do this in the line-up at the grocery store, gas station or while picking up your dry cleaning.
Finally, start talking to people you find somewhat attractive but not overly attractive. By taking this stepwise approach, you will be ready when you finally see someone who you are really attracted to as you will know just what to say.
8. Hire a Matchmaker
Working with a Matchmaker can be the most effective use of your time and money. A Matchmaker can help you make better choices in the people you date and will do all the background work of selecting and screening potential dates so you don’t have to.
Working with a Matchmaker will also help increase your chances of meeting a potential partner who shares the same values as you, namely looking for a strong connection for a long lasting, committed and loving relationship.
